Did you know,
all I want is to be thin?

On Saturday it was beautiful out,
the school year almost over,
the party almost here.

A girl I knew said,“Everything’s so great right now,
so perfect.”
But I did not feel the same.

I looked around.
I felt the sun on my face,
saw the happy people,
carefree and laughing and together.
And I saw what she meant.
And it was not true for me.

Because for me there was still something wrong,
always something wrong,
shading my perception
and weighing down my joy.

Liza, I have not the freedom to be happy,
I am shackled.

I think, those who complain are ungrateful,
he who whines is weak.
But I realize I am like them.

The person is not inferior,
the challenge is great.
For ten years I’ve struggled,
and for all that I’ve not made a difference.

So what shall I do now?
Where shall my efforts go?

Do not starve for myself,
Mourn for my mother who is dead.

Do not starve for myself,
Do great things without fear.

Do not starve for myself,
Make a weighty mark on the world
by which I will be known.

But I cannot.
So how shall I help myself now?

The same way I do every time.
By doing better—
Except this time it will work.

(Source: triggermethin)